Chapter 844: For Those Who Will Wait (1)
“If you went out of your way to hand my memories over to Chief Song, that means you wanted me to help, doesn’t it? Then explain it properly. Properly!”
Whatever it was, he needed to spill everything he knew. Seong Hyunjae looked at me and shrugged.
“Didn’t I promise to give them back? I apologize for not being able to return all of them.”
“Seong Hyunjae!”
“I’ll pay compensation for the rest. Though I imagine it’s hard to put a price on memories.”
“I don’t need it!”
The words were out of my mouth before I could stop them, and, admittedly, it felt like a bit of a waste. But I had no intention of taking money in exchange for selling off my own memories.
“I’m getting all of them back. Properly. So don’t even think about pocketing someone else’s memories.”
I might charge interest, though.
“And don’t try to change the subject. You even left traces of yourself here. You must have had something in mind.”
“You can stop here.”
Seong Hyunjae said it calmly. I glared at him as if he’d just said the most ridiculous thing in the world.
“Now?”
“Han Yujin, you won’t want to let anyone go. I know that. So if there is a way, you’re welcome to come find me. I’ll receive you with open arms.”
His low voice continued, soft and even.
“But it’s also all right if you don’t come. No one can keep moving forward all the time. Everyone runs into walls, and it’s common enough not to be able to get over them. Stepping back isn’t always a bad thing. Sometimes it’s the wiser choice.”
“…But I…”
“You wouldn’t have been able to stop. For you, Han Yujin, giving up would have meant letting go of your brother’s hand.”
I could never let go of the hand I had clutched in mine. I would rather throw my own life away than step back. That much, I could not do.
“So I’ll be a failure you’re allowed to be okay with.”
“…What is that supposed to mean?”
“It’s all right to fail.”
Seong Hyunjae smiled lightly.
“You don’t have to take responsibility. You don’t have to clean up after it. Like a five year old child, leave what comes after to the adults.”
“I’m 26, and also 31, for the record.”
“An adult who grew up too soon. Someone who left behind the age when falling down was allowed far too quickly.”
…
My childhood felt impossibly far away. If being an adult meant carrying responsibility, then yes, I had certainly become one far too early.
“Failure is also experience. It’s how you learn. Of course, you shouldn’t make a habit of giving up too easily, but making a habit of holding on desperately isn’t good either. Let go of what should be let go. Hold on to what should be held on to. Usually, people learn that while there are still hands around to catch them when they fail.”
“…I think I’m a little past that point.”
“I can tell you, sincerely, that it’s all right.”
I looked at Seong Hyunjae. His expression was calm, without a trace of mischief, and for some reason it made him feel a little distant. It occurred to me, belatedly, that he really was an adult.
“After all the crap you’ve pulled, you’re acting like a grown up now?”
“Perhaps you could call it a mother’s heart.”
The slightly heavy mood shattered in an instant.
“What kind of nonsense is that now!”
“When Han Yujin treated me as—”
“No, just say father instead! Aren’t you embarrassed?”
I already knew his skin was thick, but how did something like that come out of his mouth so smoothly? Seong Hyunjae looked wounded.
“To be treated as a mother by a grown son is, to Han—”
“Wait! Aaaagh!”
How did he know that? When Shishio spouted that nonsense, the pre regression Seong Hyunjae definitely hadn’t been there! I hurriedly blocked Chief Song’s front and shouted.
“Don’t listen!”
Seong Hyunjae looked at me with pity.
“Everyone who would know already knows.”
…
Damn it, for high rank Hunters, they sure had loose mouths! Had that rumor really spread that far? Seriously? I glanced at Chief Song, trying to read whether he knew too, but his expression was hard to decipher. Please let him never know. The kids could not hear about it either.
“Anyway! I understand you’re being considerate, but do you think I’ll feel at ease just because you say it’s fine? What are you going to do on your own?”
“Didn’t I say I would endure?”
“And what happens if you endure?”
“Crescent Moon cannot make me a full moon. I’ve prepared to resist.”
Prepared to resist? Chief Song and I looked at Seong Hyunjae at the same time. That almost sounded like there was hope.
“First, Sigma. Thanks to the piece that broke off from me, Crescent Moon can no longer bind me completely. That doesn’t mean I can escape, but her control has weakened, if only slightly.”
A magic stone rose over Seong Hyunjae’s palm. Of course, it was not the real thing, only an illusion inside the memory.
“Crescent Moon believes that if I absorb the Gardener’s magic stone, I’ll be completed. Under normal circumstances, she would have been right. So I used that as leverage to make Crescent Moon back down.”
“You blocked Crescent Moon’s attack, no, wait, that’s not okay!”
“No. It’s fine.”
Seong Hyunjae looked at me. Then the illusion of a pink fairy dragon appeared and faded away.
“Your memories, Han Yujin, and Hangyeol’s ability. With help from those two things, I’ll be able to postpone my completion as an Origin even if I swallow the Gardener’s magic stone. I’ll digest the time accumulated within me, slowly, without losing myself.”
“…But Hunter Seong Hyunjae. Didn’t you say that method was impossible because Crescent Moon would never simply stand by and allow it?”
Chief Song cut in, as if this was something he had already heard before.
“You said you didn’t have enough time.”
“That’s right. Crescent Moon will try to stop me. So I’ll endure.”
Seong Hyunjae spread both arms.
“Crescent Moon’s control has weakened, and I have become stronger. Even if I can’t run away, if I resist and hold out, Crescent Moon will have no choice but to cut me down.”
“Cut you down?”
“By killing me a few times, perhaps several times over. By now, I imagine I’m quite the mess.”
The way he said it as if it were someone else’s problem made my brow crease on its own.
“And then? What happens then?”
“Even if I submit in the end, Crescent Moon will have to start over. She’ll need to erase my memories and plant me into a new world again. It won’t take me all the way back to the beginning. Three or four worlds’ worth, at most.”
…
He would be subdued by Crescent Moon and once again forced to wander without himself, over and over. Seong Hyunjae said it as if it were nothing.
“Then nothing gets solved.”
“The only thing Crescent Moon erases is my memories.”
“So… ah.”
No way.
“Your memories will remain, Han Yujin. Along with the power of the Nurturer.”
That was right. A part of my memories was still inside Seong Hyunjae.
“I’ll gain time and opportunity. I’ll be able to digest what has built up inside me and wait for the moment I can break free from Crescent Moon. It may take a little while.”
…
As expected, Seong Hyunjae had not given up. He had not told me it was all right without any plan. He had gone because he held a way to survive in his hands, because he intended to fight to the end.
“As long as you’re alive, Han Yujin, the memories and the power of the Nurturer left in me should remain. So, Han Yujin, live a long, long life. Going back and living happily will be enough.”
“…As if that’s something I can decide. Even if I last a long time, it’ll be a hundred years at best.”
Which of my memories had Seong Hyunjae taken with him? Once he forgot everything and fell alone into a strange land, what would he look toward as he walked? It was hard to imagine. I could only feel it as something impossibly remote.
“If he cannot return before Han Yujin reaches the end.”
Chief Song spoke in a steady voice.
“I will go find him. By then, I should be able to develop enough strength to leave our world. I will also be able to use my power with more stability.”
Chief Song’s gaze turned toward me. His eyes were calm, as they usually were, but they held a stronger light than before.
“So it will be all right.”
Both of them were telling me that I did not have to carry all of it alone.
“Perhaps I may return sooner than expected. I’ll try to attend Han Yujin’s 60th birthday celebration.”
“…Who says you’re invited? Don’t even think of showing up with the exact same smooth face you have now. It’ll piss me off.”
If he really popped up out of nowhere with that unchanged face, I might get so mad I would flip the banquet table. He would probably greet me as casually as if we had just seen each other yesterday, and the thought alone made my blood pressure rise. Even so, I would be glad to see him.
“My concern is Crescent Moon.”
Chief Song’s expression hardened slightly as he spoke.
“If Han Yujin disappears, then the memories Hunter Seong Hyunjae carries will become useless as well.”
“In that respect, losing the Garden was regrettable. Though it had to be dealt with for the sake of Han Yujin’s brother and Sigma as well.”
“Do you think Crescent Moon will reach out to our world?”
“It won’t be easy now that the system connection has been severed. And it seems Senior Tree has also stepped in.”
I quietly looked at Seong Hyunjae and Chief Song. I felt as if I could now leave Seong Hyunjae’s matters to Seong Hyunjae, and Song Taewon’s matters to Song Taewon. Still.
“I’d rather we all went back together.”
The two of them looked at me. This was still the best. The way things were right now. It looked good, and it was fun too.
“So hang in there and wait, Seong Hyunjae.”
“If that’s what Han Yujin wants.”
Seong Hyunjae answered. Chief Song did not stop me either. I had come this far. I might as well try one more time.
“Only, be careful.”
“Don’t worry. And it isn’t only because of you, Seong Hyunjae.”
Well, even if Seong Hyunjae were the only one left, it was not as if I could just leave him behind with a clear conscience. As if he had said everything he needed to say, Seong Hyunjae’s figure slowly began to blur. He looked at me and Chief Song.
“To the two people I like in a very special way. It was enjoyable.”
With a face that showed not a single lingering regret, Seong Hyunjae disappeared. The scenery around us returned to the area below the building. I saw Chief Song kneeling on the ground in front of me.
“Hyung!”
As I sat up, Yuhyun came over to me. I held out my hand to Chief Song. Instead of taking my hand immediately, his clear, deeply settled black eyes looked up at me.
“Take it. I’m not that weak.”
“Yes.”
Chief Song took my hand. I pulled him up with all my strength. Yuhyun looked me over and asked what had happened.
“Hyung, you completely stopped moving for about five minutes. Are you okay?”
“Chief Song returned the memories that Seong Hyunjae had taken from me.”
“You remember him again! You forgot Sesung Mister again, and it startled me.”
Yerim said she was relieved, then looked around, asking what had happened to Sesung Mister.
“Then did you get all your memories back, hyung? I was already worried about that.”
“He said he took a little with him, but nothing feels off, so I think most of them came back. I don’t feel any gaps either.”
I stretched my arms out. The moon had vanished from the clear sky.
“Hunter Seong Hyunjae went to Crescent Moon.”
Chief Song explained what had happened here in my place. The Gardener had disappeared, and Seong Hyunjae had taken the Gardener’s magic stone and let Crescent Moon capture him. Soyeong tipped her head far back and looked up at the sky.
“…Will our Guild Leader be all right? I haven’t really worried about the Guild Leader much before, but I still hope he’s safe.”
“It won’t be easy for him to return safely.”
Moon Hyunah also looked up at the sky, her expression complicated. Yerim, Park Hayul, Noah, even Liette. Yuhyun and Peace had no interest, though.
“Then we’re going to rescue Sesung Mister now, right?”
Yerim said it as if it were obvious. Park Hayul, who had at some point taken his place on top of Yerim’s head, shook his leaves.
– He’s completely left the world of the dream. Forget rescuing him. Even chasing after him would be hard.
“But he was taken!”
– You can’t leave your own world without help from a transcendent. Sesung Guild Leader has a contract with Crescent Moon too, so she could take him easily. And even if you get outside the world, finding him is a whole separate problem. Do you have any idea how huge it is out there?
Park Hayul said there was nothing we could do. Yerim drooped, and Soyeong’s face grew serious.
“Director Han, Chief Song. Then… does that mean our Guild Leader might not be able to come back?”
Soyeong looked between me and Chief Song as she asked. Chief Song hesitated briefly before opening his mouth.
“We cannot be certain. However, I believe you should prepare for that possibility. For now, he will be treated as missing.”
“R, really?”
“Yes. If you require assistance, I will cooperate fully.”
Kang Soyeong bit down hard on her lower lip.
“…No. The Guild Leader already prepared things so I could serve as acting Guild Leader. Fortunately, I have Comet, so I’ve gained standing equal to an S–rank Hunter. And after the battle in England, I was properly recognized. I can protect Sesung Guild during the Guild Leader’s absence.”
Soyeong spoke more calmly than I had expected. Even before the regression, Kang Soyeong had held Sesung Guild together without Comet. So she would manage just fine.
“If it gets hard, tell me anytime, honey. I can’t help with guild work, but I’ll get rid of ten annoying bastards for free.”
“You may not, Hunter Liette.”
“Don’t worry. I’ll make them disappear so cleanly even Mr. Civil Servant won’t notice.”
“That makes it even less acceptable.”
Soyeong smiled and said, “Thank you, unni.”
“There’s no way the Guild Leader won’t come back! It’ll be fine. I’ll just treat it as practice for becoming the future Guild Leader of Sesung.”
“Right. A guy like Seong Hyunjae will show up again soon enough, acting as if nothing happened. So don’t overdo it.”
Hyunah lightly patted Kang Soyeong on the shoulder. Because it was Seong Hyunjae. It really did feel as if he might appear right now, out of nowhere, with that perfectly fine face of his. But it was a road he could not easily return from on his own. Even if he was the great and impressive Sesung Guild Leader. So.
“I’m going to go bring him back.”
Every gaze poured toward me at once. In the middle of it all, I smiled and said,
“Only, I’ll go alone.”
–TL Notes–
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