Chapter 590: Han Yujin (2)
“Han Yuhyun!”
Han Yujin looked desperately at his younger brother standing in front of him. Yuhyun’s expression was cold. So cold even I, watching, froze up. Those chilly eyes felt utterly unfamiliar now, but back then I’d even been used to them.
Han Yujin swallowed dryly. He’d called his brother over, but couldn’t bring himself to speak for a while before finally forcing his mouth to move.
“J–just this once. I mean, I… I’ve never… tried to freeload off you like this, have I…?”
A hollow laugh came from somewhere. Someone muttered, after all the trouble you’ve caused until now. Han Yujin clenched his teeth. I felt a pointless flare of anger too.
“J–just… a Haeyeon healer, just once…”
“Why would I do that?”
The low voice came out, and Han Yujin’s shoulders hunched.
“Healer support?”
Han Yuhyun took a step toward him. His eyes, sunk into an emotionless calm, fixed on Han Yujin.
“You think I’d do something like that for you?”
“T–that’s…”
It was freezing. Even though they were indoors.
“This actually works out better.”
My heart lurched. Even now, it did. Back then, it probably would’ve been easier if it had just shattered completely.
“Now you won’t be running your mouth about going into dungeons anymore.”
“Yu–Yuhyun…”
Han Yujin’s gaze dropped weakly to the floor. He bit down hard on his lips. His eyes were shaking wildly. I stared blankly at that, then suddenly yelped.
“Subtitles, put subtitles on this! ‘Due to circumstances he had no choice, this is not Hunter Han Yuhyun’s true feelings!’ Hurry!”
“Why? It’s not like—.”
“Now! Right now!”
As I rushed them, Yuhyun’s face, looking down at Han Yujin, blurred. Clear sorrow welled up over the shadowed features. His downcast eyes trembled in agony. The emotion was so strong anyone could tell how much he was hurting.
There was no way Yuhyun would actually show those pent–up feelings back then. Before I could even ask what was going on, Ru Ga Pheya spoke.
“That’s not something Han Yujin saw. He couldn’t have.”
Just like she said, Han Yujin had his head down. Back then, the only thing I could see were my brother’s toes.
“Memories always get a little distorted. And you saw some of your brother’s memories too, remember? That’s why it’s showing up like that now. Originally, it was a memory where you were the only one hurting, sad, and bitter.”
“…Yuhyun too.”
He’d been grieving with me. I’m sure he had. Yuhyun turned away. The back that had only ever seemed cold now looked sad.
“…Please just live quietly. Stop dragging your brother down.”
Back then it had been a firm, chilly statement. But now, Yuhyun’s voice shook. My memory and the memory I’d seen from him overlapped, revealing how he really felt.
They dragged Han Yujin outside. The door shut, and the Han Yuhyun I hadn’t been able to see was left standing there, stunned. A thin breath slipped out between his lips. He looked like he’d lost his way in a dark forest, with no idea what to do.
“…I’m sorry, hyung.”
He barely managed to get that much out. There must’ve been years’ worth of words piled up behind it, but he just kept forcing them down, unable to spit any of them out. That was how it was. My little brother never showed even a single tear to the very end.
“Are you sad?”
“…I don’t know. My chest hurts, but it’s not just sadness.”
I watched Han Yujin stagger away. Normally, you’d probably think he looked pitiful, but I didn’t feel that way anymore. It was just bad luck, bad circumstances. From the beginning to the very end, nothing about me and my brother had really changed. The way we cared about each other stayed the same. All the way to the end.
“Back then I felt so lonely I thought I might literally die from it.”
Even so, I kept this tiny, ridiculous hope. I’d at least managed to get a foothold as a low–rank Hunter and was pulling my own weight. So maybe, just maybe, I could at least hear him ask if I was doing okay.
Creak, the front door opened. The house, already stripped of any sense of being lived in thanks to his hospital stay, looked even more desolate.
“…Guess it’s not going to happen.”
Han Yujin murmured under his breath.
“Guess we really can’t… go back to how it was…”
He took off his shoes and went inside, not even turning on the lights, and just dropped down wherever. Maybe it was time to give up. Watching that, a little laugh slipped out of me. The King of Harmless tapped my head.
“That’s not really the kind of scene humans usually laugh at, is it?”
“No, it’s just… Looking back, that was when things felt the most hopeless. Like everything was just over. I didn’t even have the strength left to struggle.”
Even if the whole world were ending, I’d at least curse it out at the very last moment. But back then, I didn’t even have the energy for that. What more could I even do? I had no plan, no ability, just this crushing sense of being stuck.
“I thought it was all over, but it wasn’t. It was actually the opposite. And on top of that—”
Even without knowing any of that, Han Yujin started moving again. Smothered in grief and loneliness so thick it felt like he might suffocate, he still tried to keep living. Even in that state, he stayed a Hunter. He didn’t give up.
“You’re going to live a long time, for real. Guys like you, the stubborn ones, always have the longest lives.”
Do Hamin grumbled, glaring at him.
“So, any contraband in there that could fix my leg?”
“Stuff like that gets way more expensive on the black market. Plus, these days you can’t get high–grade potions even if you have the money. There are more dungeons and they’re getting harder, so high–rank Hunters sweep everything up with their eyes practically glowing. Don’t even get me started on high–rank healers. Healers complaining they’re going to drop dead from overwork is nothing new.”
“…But going through official channels is completely impossible.”
By that point, priority went to high–rank Hunters and people in immediate life–or–death emergencies. If some low–rank Hunter with an injury that just made everyday life hard applied saying, I’d like treatment, please, the only answer they’d get back was, have you considered retirement.
“The only other option is getting lucky and picking something up in a dungeon. You can use whatever item you personally loot. High–grade ones very rarely drop in mid–rank dungeons too. Want me to show you the domestic dungeon records?”
“Yeah. I’ll take even that.”
“With that leg, it’ll be hard to get in as a regular team member. At best you’ll get in on experience as a porter.”
“Still have to try. Has anything like that ever dropped in a low–rank dungeon?”
“Not domestically. There are some records abroad, but people say they’re probably just rumors.”
If they weren’t just rumors, it must’ve been from some exceptional raid. I mean, even I got a high–grade potion in an E–rank dungeon after regression. Watching my expression, Do Hamin lowered his voice as much as he could.
“If it were Haeyeon—.”
“Shut up.”
Do Hamin shrugged. Han Yujin kept on living. And then—
“Huh?”
The scene in front of me suddenly shook violently, like a busted TV. Ru Ga Pheya tilted her head, then said,
“Knew it would kick in.”
“What?”
Grabbing my head in both hands, Ru Ga Pheya continued.
“The eclipse’s power is sloppy, so it’s all patchy.”
“…You mean my memories?”
“Yep. Anything tied to the lunar eclipse is basically gone.”
I’d heard it got erased back in that nightmare dungeon in China. I wouldn’t know the details since I lost the memories. I’m curious, sure, but…
“Let’s just skip— ack!”
Ssslide, Ru Ga Pheya’s tendrils crawled up my face and the back of my neck. Goosebumps exploded all over me.
“What are you trying to pull now!”
I’d never exactly been a fan of tentacle–type things, but thanks to this jellyfish, my dislike had tripled.
“Be good, it doesn’t hurt at all~.”
“Hey, hey! Hold on!”
“You’re curious too, so stay still. But your skin feels softer than before, you know? How far have you changed? Got tentacles yet?”
“No idea!”
Don’t ask about the stuff I’m deliberately trying not to think about. Tentacles, sure, I’ve had those stuck on me before, whatever. But anything beyond that… let’s not. It doesn’t feel like much right now, so I’ll just pretend I don’t know. I still seem normal enough. For now.
“Ah, yes, yes.”
Han Yujin grumbled. Shards of the erased memories appeared, broken into pieces.
“Nothing like this will happen again. I mean it. They told me they just needed someone to move potions around, who would’ve thought foreign high–rank Hunters were involved.”
I didn’t remember this, but that was a hundred percent a lie. I’d probably joined in the smuggling to siphon off a top–tier potion. But if this is one of the erased memories, then the person I’m talking to is—
“So please don’t let Haeyeon know, okay?”
“There’s no reason for me to inform them.”
Song Taewon said. Han Yujin’s eyes widened a little.
“Huh? Oh, right.”
“This is Hunter Han Yujin’s problem. It has nothing to do with Haeyeon Guild.”
That was the obvious stance. But it had never been obvious for me. Any time Han Yujin caused trouble, it always escalated into talk of the Haeyeon Guild Leader’s brother, the Haeyeon Guild Leader’s reputation, shouldn’t Haeyeon Guild take responsibility. Han Yujin fidgeted and nodded.
“…Y–yeah, r–right.”
“Illegally exporting high–rank items is a serious crime. However, when a low–rank Hunter or non–awakened is dragged into a crime led by high–rank Hunters, depending on their role and contribution, compulsory—”
Song Taewon’s voice faded away, and then his figure vanished completely. In situations like that, low–rank Hunters often weren’t held criminally responsible. If they refused to follow orders, their lives could be at risk. They were more likely to become targets to erase evidence, so the Association or the Special Offices sometimes ended up protecting them instead.
“…High–rank item smuggling.”
A hazy memory surfaced. Smuggling was a common crime, but I vaguely remembered one huge case that involved foreign S–rank Hunters too. As far as I knew, it had nothing to do with me. Had I really met Chief Song back then? And Seong Hyunjae? And Yerim?
“I like Chief Song Taewon.”
Only the voice came through, cutting in and out.
“Right? Don’t you agree?”
“To Chief Song, I’m just Han Yujin.”
“He’s not even close to me, but from the start he’s been willing to see me as separate from Haeyeon—”
“He really is a good person. For real.”
He is a good person. Once you get to know Chief Song, there aren’t many people who wouldn’t like him. Except criminals. No, actually, I bet even among the criminals he’s arrested, there are a decent number of fans.
“Mmm, this isn’t going well~ Even if I gather the leftover bits, hardly any of them connect properly.”
While the King of Harmless grumbled, fragments kept flickering past.
“Mister Hamin said he’d introduce us, though.”
“I’m the same age as Hunter Han Yujin.”
Wait, hold up. Same age? With who…? The voice sounded unfamiliar, but surely it wasn’t who I was thinking. I mean, come on, have a conscience.
“I don’t know, damn it! What do you expect, he’s still my little brother!”
“Honestly, I think the Haeyeon Guild Leader is the best–looking. Face–wise.”
“That place has good braised tofu.”
“Am I the one in the wrong here?”
“I don’t go anywhere on Christmas.”
Short snatches of voices appeared and vanished. It was mostly pointless small talk, but I still felt glad to hear it. Then, once again, Han Yujin was standing alone.
“I really hate the cold. My leg aches like hell.”
With a sigh, he lightly thumped his knee with his fist. His leg still dragged, and there wasn’t much hope. As dungeon difficulty climbed, the atmosphere in the Hunter world got harsher too. It had gotten bad enough that Do Hamin warned me to avoid places where a lot of Hunters gathered. I was an easy target for them to take their frustrations out on.
Han Yujin walked on. People I didn’t remember and people I did brushed past him. Even as he kept ending up alone, he somehow held on.
“Ah, thank you.”
A paper cup of hot coffee was held out to him. He smiled and dipped his head in thanks. He was covered in scars, but it wasn’t like there was nothing to smile about.
That’s how Han Yujin lived. The way ordinary people do.
“…Hyung.”
And then—
“Are you okay?”
Han Yuhyun wrapped his arms around him.
–Grrrrrrrr.
Deep in the dragon’s rumbling throat, dark red flames and the stench of blood swirled together. My little brother was smiling. My own face was a wreck. I’d thought I had answered calmly back then, but I hadn’t. I was completely at a loss. Had I really looked like that? Had I actually managed to tell Yuhyun, even just with my expression, that I was worried about him? That, just like when we were kids, I still loved my little brother.
Han Yujin caught the collapsing Han Yuhyun in his arms. His face looked like he was about to cry.
“…I’m fine, your hyung is.”
I whispered it for him. It’s my memory, so please, just say I’m okay. Say thank you, say I love you. Even if it isn’t what really happened, still. But Han Yujin couldn’t say it. He refused to let even that one desperately wanted line slip out, like he wouldn’t allow himself that kind of self–indulgence.
The surroundings darkened, as if the curtain were falling, everything staining black. My throat burned like I’d swallowed something scalding. No words came out. If I hadn’t been tied down, I definitely would’ve jumped in, unable to hold myself back.
And just like that—
[And then, thanks to some roundabout good luck, Han Yujin somehow got sent back five years into the past~☆]
The caption popped up. White letters on a black screen. No video, just text… The chipper tone of it was so absurd that the breath I’d been holding finally burst out of me.
–TL Notes–
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